The Stress of Grieving

I didn’t realize how stressful grieving can be. I’m learning how my family members must feel when they face depression. I had no motivation and I just wanted to be alone to think it all through. My thoughts were ruminating. There was darkness in my mind. Fear. The real culprit being sadness manifesting it’s way into everything. I didn’t want to burden anyone with my grief, it was so personal yet needed to be purged.

My depression derived from outside stimuli. Imagine if you’re own thoughts are the root cause? That’s living with a mental illness. I began to implement natural stress relievers into my life. For some ideas on things you can do, take a read here:

https://ecoki.com/8-all-natural-stress-relievers/

I needed to begin to come back to the land of the living.

In my grieving, I saw a beautiful post from a woman talking about her mom who had passed 20 years ago. She honored her mother in a way that made me want to meet the woman. All her quirks, habits, favorite foods and drinks, the glint in her eye and the pep in her step. The scarf she wore and the scent of her perfume. I thought to myself, that’s how you share and preserve their memory and legacy. It motivated me to write about RC. Let me introduce you to the man and his spirit, not the obituary.

He was always available for a call, he loved to talk…and talk…and talk. His favorite topics: politics, weather and traffic–and boy was he passionate about all three. He was the first to alert me about every storm. We are having a storm this week and I feel like I have to be the town weather crier to carry the torch of weather ambassador. He told everyone because he cared and he wanted to make sure they were safe.

He loved his snacks. He kept so many snacks in his car, his car got bugs! He carried a flavored water around with him all the time too. He was also the only person I know that enjoyed fish fillet sandwiches at McDonalds, not one but two at a time. Yuck!

He was a stickler for haircuts and nails. He complimented everybody on their hair and ladies on their painted nails. God forbid you needed a haircut, don’t let RC know, he would badger you to get one. His hair was always perfect. I hate to do my nails and he would lecture me about it, telling me “it’s the polish on the woman.” He was a cleanliness freak too about showering yet his personal space was as free-spirited and disorganized as his mind could be. He was a wild soul that wandered this earth; in his denim shorts in the summertime. Yes, we laughed at his denim shorts.

He liked to work-out and take power walks. He prided himself on his built arms. He did have really nice arms on a tall frame. He used to like to watch trains, especially old trains. He would take pictures of them and send them to me as he walked. He sent me so many pictures of so many things. His phone was always in his hand.

Lastly, he was very affectionate and caring towards me. Besides a listening ear he would compliment my pretty neck or tell me he would always love me. I believe love is infinite, so to me, he will love me forever.

I hope you feel you know him better now too. Just know he’d love to talk to you. He was bilingual, self-taught too.

RIP RC. I carry your legacy in my heart and with my words.