Laying in Bed

I never take naps. I hate wasting time in bed. There’s so much to do, so much to see. Unless you’re in a bipolar depression that is. Bed is their sanctuary. My son can sleep for 24 hours when stressed and depressed. They hide from family, friends, work, school and life in general in that bed. The comforter becomes a wall to keep everyone at bay. So how do you get them out of the bed? That’s the million dollar question.

You can ask, you can beg, you can threaten doctors and hospitals, you can offer food–nothing will work to a great degree unless they want to and are ready to join the world again.

Seeing the pain in your eyes, will only move them so far. The pain in their souls is way more powerful.

Perhaps laying in bed with your partner makes them feel more connected, less isolated. It’s hard to say from a bystander’s viewpoint.

In my opinion, the bed should be for sleeping and you know what only. They make the bed into a sanctuary or as I think about it…. maybe it’s more of an emotional prison. They are safe there but there’s not much to do and nobody really wants to visit or stay with them there.

So, is staying in bed really helping restore them or is it just making matters even worse for our loved ones? It’s hard to say if they don’t even have the energy to lift their head off the pillow. I’ve gotten my loved ones out of the bed in that state. How? By offering up the things that THEY love to do. My significant other likes playing poker. If I ask if he wants to go play poker, even if he’s in that “place”, he’ll stir to get up and go.

As a joke, I’ve threatened to lock the bedroom door from the outside and only I have the key. He laughs but in a way I’m partially serious. The bed makes him feel safe but the world isn’t safe for anyone and we all have to face our demons. Maybe his demon is….why can’t I get out of bed this week? Well, what do we do then? Call the psychiatrist? Go play poker? You need a PLAN. A rescue plan. And that requires owning your depression, trusting your loved ones and contacting your treatment providers.

I want my loved ones in the world with me but we have to plan together to get them there.